Oh, Ellie ….

This is my 100-word story for Friday Fictioneers, based the prompt below – a photo by ©Douglas M MacIlroy. To read other contributions or to find out how to get involved, click here

18042014

Friday Fictioneers prompt for 18/04/2014 ©Douglas M MacIlroy

 

Oh, Ellie ….

“Oh Ellie,” said Mum. “Gran will be here any minute. Did you have to make such a mess after all my tidying?”

Her brother lifted a cushion and put it back in place.

“I told her, Mum,” he said. “But she was all giddy and wouldn’t listen.”

“That’s a LIE” said Ellie. “Mum, it was Ben. He threw the cushions on me.”

“She probably didn’t think about the mess, Mum,” Ben said soothingly.

“Ellie, tidy up. I don’t have time for this,” said Mum.

Ellie’s elbow hurt from where her big brother had shoved her onto the floor. But her heart hurt more.

©Siobhán McNamara

 

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71 Responses to Oh, Ellie ….

  1. Ah, I know that pain of injustice with siblings. It’s not fair sometimes. 🙂 I like the ending line. Slightly humorous, but touching as well.

  2. Dear Siobhán,

    It’s amazing how cruel children can be to each other. Sometimes those scars stay to old age. Bittersweet story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  3. This is so true to life. I’ve been Ellie in the past, though I’ve probably also been Ben. Great take on the prompt.

  4. Horus says:

    Aww ! I loved those fights – they might have hurt on body or heart sometimes.. but they are always much more fun !

  5. Superb.
    AnElephant loves this, despite the pain.
    Very true to life.

  6. Adam Ickes says:

    I remember those days. My brother and I had some pretty epic battles. Good story!

  7. I was the only child at home but my kids had some battles. My son usually came out worse. He didn’t want to hurt his sister because she was younger, but she fought like a tiger. Of course, she stuck up for him if someone else bullied him. Well written and realistic.

  8. I’m sure I remember that exact scenario from my own childhood, Siobhan. Takes me right back.

  9. Lovely, little sisters always get the short end of the stick when brothers are involved.

  10. It evokes well the real emotions involved in a family fight between kids

  11. Siobhan, what a perfect combination of love and hurt! Very real.

    janet

  12. Awww…he’s a bully. I hope he softens as they age.

  13. Sandra says:

    After the past few days I felt I was right in there, pacifying, arbitrating, separating. Nice work!

  14. Clever pic prompt writing #AtoZchallenge ☮Peace ☮ ღ ONE ℒℴνℯ ღ ☼ Light ☼ visiting from http://4covert2overt.blogspot.com/

  15. Never easy to work out the real culprit when you’re the mother.

  16. Poor Ellie. Brothers can be so rough on their sisters sometimes. I love your take on the prompt.

  17. Well – done and so typical of childhood. Not my children though!

  18. Very true to life and real.

  19. znjavid says:

    Aww poor Ellie! I can understand her feelings being the youngest of 3 siblings myself. Nicely written.

  20. mscwhite says:

    Poor Ellie! Siblings are supposed to present a united front!

  21. plaridel says:

    it’s a familiar story in every household. felt sorry for the little sister who got the bad rap.

  22. Judah First says:

    My kids always tried to create a victim/perpetrator scenario. I used to tell them I didn’t wear stripes. Then they’d get sent to their rooms with “Beat each other up until you’re both dead!” That always had them playing happily in about 5 seconds. 🙂

  23. Such a simple, but realistic glimpse into a sibling interaction. The dialogue and action create a perfect triangulation. Ellie didn’t stand a chance!

  24. hugmamma says:

    A very sweet, and true, story. I know what it feels like to be hurt by older siblings…I’m the youngest of 9.

  25. rgayer55 says:

    I thought it nice of Ben to give his sister all the credit for making such a mess. He’ll grow up to be fine husband some day 🙂

  26. cshowers says:

    Aw bless her heart! Your story made me want to give poor Ellie a hug and let her know that things would work out. It’s a sign of great storytelling when you can get your reader so involved that she feels outraged at the injustice, and very empathetic for the main character. 🙂

    God bless you,
    Cheryl

  27. Lucy says:

    My brother was my hero. I would do anything for him He broke my heart many times. You don’t forget. Excellent story. Lucy

  28. The lies of children are sometimes hardest to overcome. Enjoyed your story 🙂

  29. DCTdesigns says:

    Siobhán, Siblings can be cruel. A betrayal we learn exists where we would hope it did not. This was excellently written. Dana

  30. Poor Ellie. I’ve been in similar situations, and I know that few things are more frustrating than when your parents don’t believe you. I hope she and Ben can smooth things over. Grudges amongst siblings can grow uglier as they grow older. This is a great story that quickly draws out all sorts of emotions.

  31. Nan Falkner says:

    Big Brothers can literally be a pain. Good story! I enjoyed it! Nan 🙂

  32. atrm61 says:

    Oh,poor Ellie!Sibling fights are so difficult to sort and boys being stronger usually get away with more.Loved the end:-)

  33. Lots of ouches here. It’ll be different in ten year’s time. Until then …

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