“I saw what you did”

This story is a follow-on from last week’s Friday Fictioneers contribution, Shattered. If you missed it or want a reminder, you can read it by clicking here and then this week’s story will make a lot more sense.

This week’s prompt is a photo by ©John Nixon

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“I saw what you did”

As dawn filtered through the forest Kristina cursed her stupidity.

Her father had come home yesterday evening wearing a black jacket that she had seen somewhere else that day. Was he among the men who murdered the American?

When everyone was asleep she checked his pockets and found the balaclava. He hadn’t even tried to hide it. Maybe he planned on using it again.

Kristina left quietly, walking all night. But now she was lost, and terrified of going back instead of forward.

And because of a note she had written to her father in anger, she could never go back.

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68 Responses to “I saw what you did”

  1. I guess she burned that bridge pretty effectively, although with a father who carries out assassinations, that might not be such a bad thing. Great story; you fit a lot into a small space.

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  2. I love that you were able to continue the story with this week’s prompt. Crossing my fingers for next week!

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  3. Sandra says:

    A lot of story here – quite an achievement in 100 words. Well done.

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  4. scrbwly says:

    agree too. heart-breaking all around

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  5. How sad when you can’t trust your father, except perhaps to trust he’ll do the wrong thing. I agree that you got a lot in here.

    janet

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  6. Jan Brown says:

    I’m playing catch-up, so I went back and read last week’s story, too. Very intriguing, very well done and very current. Also speaks to the cowardice involved in hiding their faces or affiliations. Men do dastardly things in the name of principle…but sometimes lack the courage to show their faces and take responsibility for those actions. She was wise to leave, and I hope she is braver than her father.

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  7. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Siobhan, Great story! Such a dilemma for poor Kristina. She will never be able to get the images out of her mind. Well written! You also punched a lot of information into so few words. Great depiction and imagery! Thanks, Nan 🙂

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  8. wmqcolby says:

    Oh, keep going with this! I’m a sucker for suspense, mystery, intrigue. You really brought it out! Five Gold Stars!

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  9. You think you can not go back but a father is blood. You can always go back.

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  10. Linda Vernon says:

    It is terrifying when going back is worse than going forward — especially in a forest like this one.

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  11. No way forward no way back.. and she can’t stay.. what a bad place to be..

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  12. camgal says:

    I think Bjorn and David have said everything I would have said. Well done on this piece 🙂

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  13. Hi Siobhan, I read this story thinking this is an Irish story and I guess it is? You have written of the girls torment so very well.

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  14. JackieP says:

    If I was her I’d run and keep running. Sometimes the unknown is better than the known. Really well done.

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  15. Dear Siobhán,

    What a horrible position for a daughter to be in. You wrote it well.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  16. Good continuing story. Well written. I, along with others, I’m sure, will be waiting for the next episode.

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  17. A real thriller. Hard to imagine being in Kristina’s situation–nowhere to turn.

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  18. Judah First says:

    Wow! Nice continuation! Her own father. Nice job.

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  19. Dee says:

    A very enjoyable read, you packed in so much, well done.
    Dee

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  20. Sorchia D says:

    Never tip your hand. I hope she finds her way out. Interesting interpretation of the prompt.

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  21. plaridel says:

    what a terrible situation she finds herself in. at this point, it’s moot which direction she goes. it’s how she deals with it that matters.

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  22. rgayer55 says:

    Well, I hope Daddy isn’t vindictive. She doesn’t have many options at this point and none of them seem very attractive. It’s going to be a rough road.

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  23. Uh-oh I hope she finds a good place in the world and doesn’t leave one bad situation for a worse one!

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  24. storydivamg says:

    And the intrigue develops. Interesting continuation of last week’s story.

    All my best,
    MG

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  25. Nicely done follow-up. Will there be more? And who will play Kristina in the movie?

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  26. You and Sandra’s characters must’ve had the same father? 🙂

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  27. atrm61 says:

    Oh no!Poor Kristina! One feels for her-hopefully she will find her way out of this forest and the mess in her life!Excellent story telling Siobhan-loved it:-)

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  28. Great start to an adventure. Poor Kristina. I wonder why she didn’t trust her dad. And the wood is full of wolves and wicked witches. Be careful.

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  29. Bryan Ens says:

    Last week’s piece was wonderful, and this week only makes the story more interesting. Looking forward to next week!!

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  30. Looking forward to the next part. Am sure it will be just as engrossing …

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  31. This works, even without the context of the previous story. Brilliant conjuring up of atmosphere.

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  32. Lucy says:

    This works well with the other story but can easily stand alone. Very well done. Lucy

    Like

  33. Pingback: No Place to Hide | siobhanmcnamara

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