Toll Time

My first contribution to the Friday Fictioneers group on WordPress

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21022014

Friday Fictioneers picture prompt 21/02/2014
© David Stewart


Toll Time

 ‘Why are you going?’ asked her best friend Lynn. ‘The woman’s dead. Isn’t that enough?’

But Ellen went, though she felt uncomfortable intruding on a family’s grief.

The nun who was their form teacher had come to see her in the hospital, back when Ellen’s pain was fresh and raw.

‘God works in mysterious ways, my child,’ she said piously. ‘Better that the innocent little infant did not live to be branded by your mortal sin.’

The pale drapes in the crematorium reach towards each other.

Closure, thought Ellen. That’s why I came.

That, and to know the witch burned.

©Siobhán McNamara/Feb2014

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30 Responses to Toll Time

  1. A lot of sadness here. Hope Ellen does get her closure. Nicely written.

  2. Loved it. Sucked me right in and I was quite pleased with the ending. :>

  3. Welcome to FF siobhan! Strong images…fun to leave the reader unresolved.

  4. Oy… that was a great ending.. I can understand Elllen’s resentment fully.

  5. Welcome to the wacky, wild and wonderful Friday Fictioneer, Siobhon. Very good first entry with a wicked little twist at the end.

    janet

  6. Good, though sad story. Some people can say thoughtless, hurting things at the worst possible time. Well written.

  7. Welcome to the Friday Fictioneers, Siobhan! I like the tone of this story; so many difference emotions meshed together. Thanks for the follow as well. 🙂
    -David

  8. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Siobhan, I certainly understand the feelings that are rushing through Ellen’s mind. I would want to know that “ding-dong, the wicked witch is dead too.” People can have the absolutely worst thing to say at absolutely the worst time. Sad story, but well written! Nan

  9. Dear Siobhán,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Once you start, it’s very hard to stop.

    A lot going on in your story. A good on. I look forward to reading more from you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  10. atrm61 says:

    Loved this -that insensitive witch definitely needed to be taught a lesson-hope Ellen had a hand in her “burning” 🙂

  11. R. E. Hunter says:

    I can feel her pain. Well done.

  12. A small measure of satisfaction for her. Beautifully written.

  13. Sarah Ann says:

    Very powerful. The emotion was clear and painful. Well done.

  14. Very well written piece conveying a lot of potent feeling.

  15. beebeesworld says:

    Thanks for following my blog. I am following yours as well. beebeesworld

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